9.16.2011

featured sponsor - casey wiegand

she is sharing a story, very personal to her heart.
thanks for being over here today, casey.

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My name is Casey Wiegand, I am a freelance artist, wife and mama.
I love painting and sharing our life through my blog...where you can expect pieces of my perspective on life, faith, kids, marriage, with touches of art, creative inspiration, projects and things I love along the way. I have two little ones in the hopes of lots more and am married to the love of my life :).

I lost my baby this month.

Being honest, at first, even with some tears I felt like I needed to be strong. I thought I can't be sad...I have so much to be thankful for and people have suffered many losses like this before...Casey be strong. My mind is able to have good perspective, I know that I am blessed with 2 beautiful babies, I know we have never suffered a miscarriage before or dealt with any kind of infertility but the truth is...

But the truth is...I am hurt, heartbroken, sad, empty.

I decided today I don't care if anyone out there in the world thinks it is silly that I am sad, devastated, heartbroken over this loss- because I need to be real about how I feel.

I looked at a baby that looked just like Aiden and Ainsleigh at 3 months...and I know it would have grown up to look just like them and love me the way they do....and that little person is gone. It's strange having a loss after having two children because I naturally imagine it looking and acting very similar to them...
it had such a reality to it.

God is so good and does wrap us up in these times of heartache... and I trust with my soul that He has a plan. But it doesn't soften the hurt. I was uneasy all morning with a huge lump in my throat. I have to say thank you so much for loving me well. I had flowers and meals on my doorstep, constant emails/texts/calls all morning....I am blessed to have such love in my life.

My doctor is a beautiful soul...her nurses and staff truly are like family to me. They have walked through some hard hard things in my personal life along side with me as well as 2 rough starts. She cried along with us today. She answered all my questions. I am a sensitive soul- I take great care and respect to the little life that I had started in me and I wanted to make sure that afterwards, even so small, it was respected greatly.

I miss the dreams we had for this child, I miss being pregnant, I just miss this baby.
This baby that we named Addison.
Addison Wiegand.
 It made me feel better to give him/her a name...to think about the day I reach heaven he/she will be standing there, I will instantly know who he/she is and wrap my hands around so tight.

I love you sweet Addison. I am so sorry I was unable to have time with you here on earth... I don't know or understand, but I love you just the same. Mama is coming someday and we will be together again.

I love you sweet baby. so so very much.

"I find beauty in not only the beautiful things in life, but the bittersweet and sad as well. To me, there is something poignantly lovely about the human experience from its splendor to its grief. God created all our emotions, not just the happy ones, and for His good purposes. That's why a good cry can feel so good. And hitting our limits forces us to look outside ourselves for a Savior. It is in the plea, when we're at our end, that we can find that which is truly life-giving. Personally, my moments of deepest grief, deepest pain, have resulted in the most beautiful seasons in my heart. I've met God more intimately in those moments than in all the other pleasant ones combined. What isn't completely lovely about that?"- Leslie


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I would love to meet you.
I would love to help you promote your business or blog.
I would love to hear your story.
So today I am giving away a free large ad space
$75 value.
 If you come over and follow my blog and tell Emily you did so you are entered :).
Thanks for listening, xoxo
Casey

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thanks for sharing your story, casey.
if you'd like to enter the give-a-way, please leave your comment on this post.
and if you'd like to be our featured sponsor, then shoot me an email.


63 comments:

  1. This is heartbroken, and i understand your pain. I read your blog and love your beautiful family.

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  2. what a beautiful post. my heart hurts for your pain but rejoices in your hope.

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  3. I have followed and LOVED Casey's blog for a long time. :)

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  4. Thank you for your story. Looking forward to many more as I am now following your blog!

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  5. I have two boys: 3 & 17 mos and I lost my baby this past June. I don't think I will ever get over it and it's okay to be sad. I know that our all powerful, and loving God has a reason (that I do not know yet) for why this happened and why he wanted to take our little one to be with him. A friend just had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and was 13 weeks along, just like I was. We've been able to comfort each other through our experiences. God uses us to help each other. Saying prayers for you today...

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  6. I LOVE Casey's blog and read it daily and am now an "official" follower. I can relate to her grief and am so glad she is being so honest in sharing her story with us. I think it makes other mommies know they are not alone in their heartaches.

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  7. I popped over to her blog and now am following, I love all her pictures. My thoughts are with her during this time, I too have suffered a miscarriage. Keep on keepin on girl!

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  8. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  9. I've been following Casey's blog for bit now and am so blessed by her!

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  10. Dear Casey. I know what your feeling. This happened to me in January. I have two daughters and was pregnant with our third baby. I went to my 12 week appointment and they couldn't find a heartbeat. Absolute devastation. My husband was out of town for work training (in New Mexico) we live in Michigan. I have never felt more alone in my life. That drive home was the worst. The thoughts in my head, being alone, going home to my girls..my family was supportive but they were a little standoff-ish. I thought if it happened around 8 weeks why was it still inside me at 12 weeks? I scheduled a d&c for 4 days later. My doctor and nurses where extremely thoughtful and caring and it went very smoothly. I choose to wait 3 months to even think about trying again. I wanted to make sure I gave myself that time to recover and come to better terms with what happened. We tried to conceive for two month and we got pregnant again. I am even more grateful and excited for this baby, it feels like I'm having my first all over again. Although I constantly fear something will happen, I am just enjoying being able and given the chance to have another one. Your are a beautiful person & I wish you the best of luck girlie!

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  11. casey, i'm sorry. when i was knee deep in grief a couple years ago, i always remembered to the verse in psalms God is near to the broken-hearted. and it comforted me to know that He especially cares for those who are devastated.

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  12. I read about this on your blog after it happened Casey, and my heart aches for you while you and your family are healing. I am following your blog, as I have, for quite a while now.
    Prayers for your healing heart.

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  13. what a heartbreak for any momma, but i so appreciate how casey has used this experience to help God bring Glory to himself and how her faith has continued to stay so strong. many hugs, friend!

    i follow casey

    Andi

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  14. We mamas never forget the babies we loved and never knew. Blessings and peace on you, Casey.

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  15. I think I speak for a lot of moms when I say that I appreciate your strength in sharing your honest, deep feelings about your experiences. I've recently found and followed your blog. I think it's the beginning of a long "relationship" with your blog ;)

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  16. My heart goes out to Casey and her husband, but i'm glad she is finding she can write about her feelings and hopefully this is helping. I am following her lovely blog. Sarah.x

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  17. Sweet lady, I understand how you feel. Almost 30 years later, I still feel an emptyness for that baby we lost--I grieve for what could have been, what was not meant to be. May the peace of God fall upon you and give you hope and encouragement.

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  18. love ms. casey and her open heart. I am a follower of her blog!

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  19. Love you caseygirl...I pray for you every day! I follow both of your awesome blogs!!!

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  20. dear one, your heart is so beautiful. please know there are people out here that feel your pain. we are praying for you and sweet baby Addison. love to you and yours.

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  21. I went to casey's blog and am now a follower! :)

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  22. I follow Casey's blog & have been blessed by her on a daily basis.

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  23. I already follow Casey and love her! Been praying for her and her family.

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  24. I'm so sorry for your loss, Casey. I know your feeling. i lost my baby at 9 weeks 5 days. We named him Emery. God showed me a picture before I knew I had miscarried of a little boy, about the age of 9 or so, climbing a ladder up out of sight. Like he was climbing to heaven away from me. I felt such peace in this picture. Afterwards, I found out that I did indeed miscarry. I know that I will get to meet him someday. We named him so that we never just called him "baby" but he had a name. It has helped me to heal from it. anyways, I understand and Praise God for his love and that He has our babies in His arms!

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  25. bless you for being real girl.

    i adore your blog and of course follow all the time!

    xoxo

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  26. I love Casey's blog and I've been a follower for a while. I'm so incredibly sorry for her loss but in reading all of her posts about it she has an amazing faith that I think God is going to use to change lives. She's awesome.

    I'd love to win this giveaway. I'm opening up my etsy shop next month and my big grand opening is a craft fair we're having at our church. So excited!

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  27. Thank you for sharing your sweet heart. I didn't even need to be bribed to visit your blog. :) I was already there by the time I got that far in your post.

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  28. I love Casey and her blog...my heart has been hurting for her and her family and baby Addison. I am a follower Casey!

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  29. Casey is amazing! I just love her blog.

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  30. I don't even know what to say. I just want her to know that I read it. And in my own issues of "infertilitiy" I cried. And I heard how the Lord is working. And that makes all the difference.

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  31. I follow casey's blog. Her loss makes my heart ache for her and her family. But I know from following her blog for a while now that He (our God) is big and sovereign and will be with Casey every step of the way.

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  32. i have followed casey's blog for sometime and LOVE it!! <3 true motherhood...;) and she is personable.

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  33. Whew. That is really tough. I'm so glad God has His hand on that family and Casey has been shown so much love. I'm following her and praying for them too :)

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  34. I follow Casey's Blog! I love this post - she's inspiring.

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  35. I follow Casey's blog and have for some time now. Her heart is so big and it's a privilege for me to listen to her life.

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  36. Casey - my heart breaks for you because I know the pain you are feeling. Even two years later, I still feel that pain and have a hard time talking about it (see this post http://ticklebugz.blogspot.com/2011/09/boom.html). Someone I talked with (who went through it too, decades before) told me that it was ok to grieve and feel that loss, that you would never forget about that child, even decades later. It was amazing to have all of those feelings justified. Never question why your heart is breaking right now. Your love for that child will reach them, even if you can't experience life with them. Thank you for sharing with all of us. If more of us did, I believe we wouldn't feel so lonely going through that.

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  37. My first precious angel is in heaven. I'm tearing up even now thinking about that baby. Even with two more here on earth and one more in my belly. I'll never forget the one I'll not meet until heaven. I ache for your loss. It's a pain that only mothers can really know. What a severe pain it is.

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  38. i LOVE casey...and I follow her! ashley.theshineproject@gmail.com

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  39. Love Casey's blog. I've been reading for a while, but officially started following today! Huge fan!
    storehousecrafts@gmail.com

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  40. such an honest hard story to tell. thanks for sharing casey. i now follow your blog :)

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  41. Thank you for sharing your story and for being REAL. I'm now following your blog.

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  42. my goodness. My heart breaks hearing this story. I will be following her blog now. <3

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  43. Casey, I just started following you a few weeks ago and have been following along - my heart and prayers are with you.

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  44. Reading Casey's post takes me back 5 years ago when we lost our first baby...so sorry it has happened to so many of us. Will never understand the why's, but it's God's plan and I have to trust him. Bless you Casey and all you other beautiful women!

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  45. ps. I'm following Casey. :)

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  46. I follow Casey and love her to death :)

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  47. I follow Casey's blog!! LOVE HER!!

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  48. I have followed Casey's blog for about a week. I lost 3 babies due to miscarriage (one at 5 and 1/2 months) and my husband and i have struggled with infertility. Her blog has uplifted me when i needed it!

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  49. I follow Casey's blog. And..if I won,I'd gift it to my bestie starting off her business on etsy. I'm so proud of her and I know she'd love the ad space.

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  50. Oh Casey, my heart just goes out to you! Its so hard for well wishers to understand the need for you to just grieve, just be sad and mad and scared. That right now is not the time to pat your arm and say "There will be more babies..." What they don't know, is you were already in love. From 2 lines on a pregnancy test forward, you were a goner. I have 4 precious babies here on earth with me, and 4 more waiting for me in Heaven. The book Heaven is For Real gave me the peace I sought for 5 years. Please read it, it is life changing!!! My story is written here, 4 little Fergusons, 4 big Miracles.
    http://4littlefergusons.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/4-little-fergusons-4-big-miracles/
    You will get through this,and I can promise you, one day you will look back on this time and not gasp with the pain of it all, but for now, its ok to cry. The Lord bottles your tears in Heaven and brings comfort to your soul. Here is a verse that got me through: {my personalization}
    Ephesians 3:14-19 “When I think of the wisdom and scope of God’s plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the creator of everything in Heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give (me) mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in (my) heart as I trust in him. May (my) roots go down deep in the soil of God’s marvelous love. And my (I) have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love really is. May (I) experience the love of Christ, though it is so great (I) will never fully understand it. Then (I) will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”
    The fullness of life, I just knew that was God’s promise, that I would be pregnant once again...and I was 3 times in 3 years. :)
    My cup overfloweth.....Hugs, Tonya

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  51. I follow Casey's blog and have been praying for her & her family through this loss.

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  52. This moved me more then words could say. 5 1/2 years ago we lost our oldest little girl to SIDS & although we have been blessed with another little princess not a day goes by that she is not thought of and loved. I know that she was sent to us and because of her I have learned to stop and appreciate the smaller things and I have become who I have became & am forever thankful for being able to say that our Pretty girl was in her lives. Thank you so much for posting and I am more then happy to be following Casey now. :)

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  53. Thanks Casey for sharing your story. I'm now following your wonderful blog :)

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  54. I am already a follower of the lovely Casey Wiegand. Her story of Baby Addison breaks my heart. Miscarriage was one of the hardest things I've ever been through and I am grateful that she has shared her story, rather than hiding her grief. Thanks for having her as a guest on your blog!

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  55. i've been a follower of you for a while now, casey. god bless.

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  56. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us, Casey. I am following you; you are in my prayers.

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  57. Hi Casey, I can't say that I know your pain personally, but the Lord calls us to weep with those who weep. I'm praying for you and your beautiful family. May you know the Lord's presence and sweet fellowship through it all.
    -Ernie

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  58. I'm following her blog now. Such a beautiful post.

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  59. what a sweet soul. my heart aches for casey but know that God has captured her heart completely. praying for you and your beautiful family. I am now a follower but most importantly ready to read what God has planned for this precious family.

    -Diana

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  60. i read casey's story recently and cried for her pain. i pray god will heal her and her family soon. i would be honored to win some of her art pieces.

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