10.30.2012

one of those days.

 
tonight was one of those nights.
today was one of those days.
one where i had to ask forgiveness from a few of my kids because well, mommy was mean.

they of course, forgave me...but i always keep this sinking feeling inside my heart.
i can do better...i should do better.
and then i'm reminded by god's word...that i can't do better.
that i should do better, but relying on myself isn't the way.

the only way to healing and true redemption is through jesus.
and so onward i go. 
even though some days i'd like to throw in the towel on this whole mothering thing.
those are the days when i need to choose jesus the most.
and i hope my kids can see that, ya know?
that yes, i messed up, but thanks to christ, i don't have to be trapped by all of that.
pursuing god is worth it.
those sweet faces are worth it.
 
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