You know, the kind of day where bedtime can’t come soon enough. And then it does come and you’re faced with unwilling kids who want to fight you till the last minute. That was the kind of day I was having. I had work to finish, laundry to fold and The Bachelor to watch, but a certain 4 year old wasn’t having anything to do with bedtime.
You see, we recently decided that giving up her pacifier was a good thing (clearly I wasn’t in my right mind) and well Olive disagrees with our decision. After coming downstairs nearly 14 times after I tucked her in, I lost my mind and my sanity. I love being a mom, but my children need to understand that there comes a point in the day where I want to just be Emily. And that point comes at about 8:00PM everyday. “I love you dearly and I’ll see you in the morning and can’t wait to be Mom again then!” I tell the kids. But Olive just wasn’t listening this particular night. Not to mention she was really missing her pacifier.
I never like when I lose my temper, and as I walked downstairs, my voice hoarse from yelling, I had a pang of guilt. Why did I insist on being so selfish? Why couldn’t I have noticed that Olive was simply sad from losing something special that she’s had for 4 years?
My mind couldn’t shake it. So I turned back around and marched right up to Olive’s room. I walked in and she looked at me and started sobbing. What was left to do? Nothing but to crawl into her toddler sized bed and just lay with her. Her sweet 4 year old voice asked me to “pway for her” and so we prayed. And as I prayed, I heard her shallow breaths turn into heavy snores. All she needed was Mommy. The aches in my hips and legs from being curled up in her bed were worth it. And all I could do in that moment, as I was tangled up with my 4 year old, was to thank God for the conviction He gave me to turn around and make things right.
We all make mistakes. Every day. And maybe that's you today. Join the club. Know you’re forgiven and make things right. Go love on that kiddo of yours, crawl into bed and snuggle with them, pray with them. Let them know they're loved.
And in case you're wondering, Olive is still sleeping with her pacifier. 6th child problems.